Read the following excerpt by Emily Bazelon, an author of a new book on Bullying I learned about today.
Stick and Stones
1/ What do you think of Monique's experience? What should the school have done?
2/ What experiences have you encountered with bullying?
Post your replies by next Tuesday.
I think that it is terrible what she had to put up with. The school should have taken appropriate measures to make sure she was treated fairly. I have been bullied many years throughout middle school and high school. It was a way for the bullies to feel better about themselves... by making me feel worse about myself. Those were, by far, some of the worst experiences in my life. Being a bully degrades the ability for others to learn, progress and grow in a social atmosphere. I am not sure how or when it finally stopped but even today I believe there is no place in schools or in society for bullying. It is a detriment to children and their self-esteem causing many issues later in life as well (in some cases) leads to suicide.
ReplyDelete--Nick Lucas
When did it stop? Why?
DeleteIt stopped when I quit letting them control my actions. It took a ton of courage and a few black eyes but it worked.
DeleteUnfortunately Monique's situation was sad, but then again it's a part of life, just not everyone's life. I do think the school should have did more, what exactly I don't know. But no I never was bullied in school.
ReplyDelete-Simone Russell
I think its awful what Monique had to put up with. I think the school should have done something about it. I agree with one of the above comments,I do think people bully just so they feel better about themselves. Even for me,I look back on some times in high school where I am ashamed of the way I acted. It may have been as small as me talking to one of my friends about someones outfit but it still is not right and i can fully admit that. Bullying is a horrible thing to put someone through, no one deserves it.
ReplyDelete-Sarah Maynard
One thing I don't know is whether people who have bullied were bullied themselves. What do you think?
DeleteI wouldnt say people who bully have been bullied. I honestly think it is a self esteem issue. I think people who bully do it becuase they need to feel better about themselves by putting others down.
DeleteThis story is very sad to me. It tells me that bad parenting brings about bad child behavior. Children learn from their parents, and those two bullies learned all the wrong things. What should the school have done? Kicked the girls out of their school probably. Would it have stopped the bullying? No idea but it would of been a good start. If children cannot control themselves at school, then they shouldn't be there. I haven't had many experiences with bullying, I tried to stay neutral my whole life and never really saw a lot of it where I grew up.
ReplyDelete- Travis Nelson
DeleteI think that Monique's experience was emotionally troubling and ultimately destructive, however she could have established solutions to her problems rather than putting that responsibility on her mother and other various authoritative figures. However, the people that were asked to help with the situation should have also been more passionate about solving a problem for a student in their school; that is their job. When it comes to bullying, I haven't really ever been a target or a bully because I'm generally good-natured and no one has a reason to have a serious problem with me.
ReplyDelete-Courtney McClelland
For example, what might she have done differently?
DeleteIt's sad but Moniques story sounds all too familiar.As relevant as anti bullying campaigns have become recently, before I believe bullying was quite the norm, and a blind eye was turned to it in many cases.And with Moniques case I think the school should have had the children try to work it out with their help, and if it continued try to seperate them as much as possible, for example not providing them public transportation, and having the parents drive them for not teaching them how to treat others.I have to say after reading this it brings up alot memories I have tried to forget.As a child I was constantly bullied, and beat up.And the sad thing is it had become a the normal routine, I was use to it, and expecting to get picked out soon as I stepped off that bus, and also starting to believe the things they constantly called me. The one thing that hurts the most, is the whole time I was alone to fend for myself. I remember adults looking away or sometimes it seemed even encouraging it.So I'm really glad theres such a focus on it now, It's always going to be an issue it's in our nature to an extent but at least we're starting to look at it and aknowledge it's a problem.
ReplyDelete- George Balaa
Having adults "look the other way" must be very disturbing to a young person who looks to adults for protection or being an active buffer. Bullying behavior may never be completely eradicated, but adults and children need to have an increasing awareness of what to do and not do. For example, sitting the victim and the bully down to "work things out" may not be an effective strategy, as the author notes.
DeleteMonique's experience with bullying was a horrible hand dealt by fate. And, sadly, the same exact situation happening in thousands of other schools around the world; and I say that with the utmost certainty. Worse even, is the aggressors invulnerability to any sort of punishment or reprimand Just by saying "i don't have to listen to you, you're not my mother." Disarmed by an 7th grader, congratulations 'murica. I can only imagine the horror of her mother, Alycia, seeing her child's social and school life slowly be whittled away insult by insult, day by day, along with her inability to do anything and to be told by the police that they can't do anything about children harassing children. The most developmental, carefree, fun, and curiosity laden time period is just wiped away leaving an emotionless, jaded, devoid of happiness, person.
ReplyDeleteAs to my own past experiences with bullying, it hurts to much to think about, let alone share. It's the past and that's where I plan for it to stay.
-Christopher J. Appel
Thanks for your thoughts and insights Chris
DeleteI agree with everyones comments on how badly bullying is. Monique had such a terrible experience and no one deserves to go through that. The school should have done more and its sad that no actions were really taken. I went to a private school with a graduating class of 54 and even with such a small class there was still bullying and the clicks. Sadly, I never stopped it when I saw it happening and wish I took more action in going to hang out with different groups.
ReplyDelete--Emily Abosch
I floated between in "in" groups and "not so in" groups in a small high school. Things did get out of hand a few times and I now wish I had intervened since I was respected by both groups.
DeleteI think Moniques experience is very common today, not always that extreme, but bullying itself runs rampant in schools. Everyone reacts different to this situation and it either becomes better or worse. It was terrible how the girls were treating her and the school could have done a better job to prevent and stop it. If her case of bullying was this terrible the school needed to recognize the severity of what was happening and stop it. By simply splitting the two girls from Monique was a terrible solution, they were still on the bus and still were in reach of verbal abuse. If it truly were affecting her this much the girls needed to be completely separated with no way of interaction after school hours on the bus. I was bullied pretty heavily in school being very overweight at a younger age. I handled it pretty well, but there definitely were days where I didn't understand the reasons for the abuse. I quickly learned to use laughter to cover up the bullying. By telling jokes and making people laugh about other things or even making fun of myself was my way of stopping the pain. Eventually it stopped and I ended up losing the weight in high school and playing sports to regain a larger group of friends. I also helped out the younger not so popular kids that I saw getting bullied because they didn't deserve to feel how I felt with no one to stand up for me.
ReplyDeleteBradley Olenik
Being a bullying victim over an extended period alters one's personality, perhaps for a lifetime. Victims often develop avenues of relief, like humor, interest in solitary activities, sports, and perhaps some unacceptable behaviors, too. Do you think bullies were bullied before?
DeleteMonique experience what a lot of middle school kids go through. I feel like bullying has become worse as the years have gone on and nobody deserves to go through that. It is hard to stick up for yourself when your friends won't because your self confidence may be very low. When I was in middle school, I had a hard time sticking up for myself and telling people my opinions, but as I have gotten older, I have found that it is easier for me to speak out against bullying. I feel like bullying decreases as you get older because people realize that putting someone down like that isn't worth it.
ReplyDelete-Carly Chaney
Being assertive helps. Bullies look for persons who are vulnerable
DeleteI think that's terrible she had to deal with that. The school should of took more and better action. I havent seen much bullying through my life but that's not to say i havent just not as much as i hear people talk about it. I think from my perspective bullying has lightened up in some areas but there are still issue with bullying in others.
ReplyDelete-Ricky Fraley-
I believe that Monique got treated unfair and its sad because of all the cruel harrasament she was going through. No ont took the intiative to sit down and talk to her and see how she was feeling. And for her friends thats shady that they didn't help her out when they clearly saw what was going on at school and on the bus. These two girls should of been punished more then just a day in ISS ( =In School Suspension).
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in 4th grade it was this 6th grader that would use to try to pick fun of me because of how small I was and my color. The build up of events overwhelmed me altogehter and I took actions into my own hand and we eventually got in a fight on the basketball court and he later then learned his lesson. But bullying will continue to occur if you dont speak out and let someone know what your going through.
Steve Magic
Being able to stand up for yourself in some fashion helps often. In my day, it was expected for you to fight back, not walk away from a bully. I believe bullies like attention, so if they're ignored they often wither away.
DeleteI think the school should have suspended those girls. I think it's ridiculous what kids, especially girls have to go through. We talk about these same subjects in my Women's Studies class and the things that people go through could make you sick to your stomach. The fact that all she did was do her hair a certain way and it lead to this much hassle is just crazy. And schools are always telling kids to go to the school with problems like this and obviously the schools aren't doing much so I don't see the point. I just think we have a messed up system and things need to change.
ReplyDeleteI haven't really encountered many experiences with bullying. I mostly kept to myself in school and I think it worked well for me.
-Sarah Coblentz
Students should not have to "hide" from possible bullying activities. That is an abusive environment. I know kids don't want to be embarrassed in front of their peers, but school should always be a safe place to be yourself.
DeleteIt seem very wrong because school supposed to be education or knowledge hall not place to get depressed or stressed. One simple thing like hairstyle leads to something like this is very crazy. No friend come rescue you when you in trouble, shame on them. I don't think school can do anything on this situation, so in my view we have fight back to bullying. To me when someone trying bullying me I end up in fighting with them, I fought with more than eight people. In my childhood I had lot of friends so when someone trying to bullying me they comes to my aides. In school we walked like a gangster and no one try to bully us. Now when someone try to bully me and say something about me I just smile at them and say thank you to them for their comments.
ReplyDeleteRETU LAL NEPAL
Hope your new technique works
ReplyDeleteIt seems as if the school didn't really care about Monique getting bullied. I thought that what the school was there for. I couldn't experience what she went through. And it should matter about her hairstyle. I think they were very wrong and shouldn't never judge her.If i was in that situation I would of took matters into my own hand because she went and told the school about it and it seems as if they don't want to do nothing about it. I have had plenty fights when i was younger and i do regret it. It seems as if the kids would always call me name and i can relate Monique experience to mines when i was in middle school kids use to pick on my hairstyle and always say bad things about me and i told teacher and principals it seem as if they didn't want to do nothing about it so i told my parents and they went up to the school and got some everything straight.
ReplyDeleteRonderica Spears
I think that the school could have done better measures to protect Monique and other students who may have been going through similar circumstances. I feel bad that she had to experience this. Although I was not bullied in school nor was I a bully, it has become a very common subject in today's society.
ReplyDeleteEric Taylor
i feel as if the school really couldn't do too much because they did not see it with their own eyes it was just her word towards another. But i also feels as if the girls should have been suspended because if this little girl making numerous complaints about this bully. with the girl "escaping" from ISS she should have gotten suspended if you don't do in school suspension then you need to be out of school
ReplyDeleteDeveney Watson
I think that the school should have and could have done a lot more to try and stop this. I don't feel like they really even tried much to stop this from going on to Monique. The girls that bullied Monique should have gotten a lot more punishment for bullying her so much. I think Alycia was right not to choose mediation because it probably would have only made the situation worse.
ReplyDeleteAlyssa Kucera